me: for christmas i want a dragon
santa: be realistic
me: ok i want boyfriend
santa: what color do you want your dragon
last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.
everything I like is either expensive, illegal or won’t text me back(via kxthleen)